Chronicles of a Tween Mom
By Meg Bucher
The posters on my daughters’ doors deliver memories of the wall I dedicated to the stars of Beverly Hills 90210. It’s pure nostalgic bliss for me and sheer terror for my husband. But appearing in the mix of their favorite athletes, celebs and motivational quotes are sprouts from faithfully planted seeds. Recently, when my youngest daughter struggled through a string of days that didn’t go the way she wished they would, I noticed a scarf covering one of her posters. Many are the nights full of lengthy conversations… and clearly, this night would be one of those.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” the covered poster read, from Psalm 139:14. Tweens struggle hard with self-worth as they awaken to realize things don’t always go the way they want them to, nor do they make the right choices all of the time, either.
Although we won’t always understand the intricate ways we’ve been woven together, God does. He knows every cell of our being and all the days of our lives. (Psalm 139:15-16 NIV) When I come alongside my daughters in conversation about the ways I can relate, their response is always…” Yeah, right.” While I’m flattered they see me as a beautiful example of grace, it’s important to set the record straight. I make mistakes, but I am still fearfully and wonderfully made… and so are they. God’s unchanging truth doesn’t lose any power because of our lack.
Fearfully, in context, means to stand in awe. Wonderfully means marked out, separated, distinguished. We are astonishingly set apart by God. And my daughter’s response to that, when in a mood that requires one of our ‘lengthy conversations,’ is often an eye-roll. Or, a disdainful, “No I’m not,” as she shoves a pillow over her face.
Solomon stated in Ecclesiastes 11:5: “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.” (NIV) Our tweens tell our story, too. We wonder and worry if we are the parents we are supposed to be, and pray, “God, please don’t let me screw my kid up!” In the moments when we are authentically broken alongside our tweena-gers, the pressure to be perfect subsides. They need to start tangibly understanding that an Instagram feed is not a proper reflection of reality, and please dear Lord don’t limit your life to an unattainable Pinterest folder. We need that reminder, too, don’t we? That we aren’t perfect… by design.
“I love you mom,” is often how we close our serious conversations about leveling topics. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” And it’s in those moments, moms of tweens… caregivers… mentors… that we pivot the glory up.
“All I am is because of Jesus.”
It takes an exhaustible amount of time, and so many ‘lengthy conversations,’ but our humility in action builds solid blocks of self-worth for our girls. Realistic, godly confidence that will remain long after our ability to pass on wisdom fades away. Keep leading them to His feet.
Meg Bucher writes about everyday life within the love of Christ. She stepped out of her comfort zone, and her Marketing career, to obey God’s call to stay home and be “Mom” in 2011. From that step of obedience her blog, Sunny&80, was born, a way to retain the funny everyday moments of motherhood. Meg is also a freelance writer and author of “Friends with Everyone.” She loves teaching God’s Word and leading Bible study, being a mom, distance running, photography, and the Cleveland Browns. Meg resides in Northern Ohio with her husband, two daughters, and Golden-Doodle.
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