The Importance of Gratitude in the Hard Times of Life - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - October 24, 2026

Audio By Carbonatix

I felt my weight sinking deeper and deeper into the fabric of the gray, upholstered chair as the deafening sound of nothingness echoed all around me. Another lonely Friday night. Normally I’d be elated that my mom had offered to babysit our four kids, but there would be no shouts of joy tonight. The aroma of the untouched chicken cacciatore seemed to taunt me. I’d found a new recipe that I couldn’t wait for my husband to try when he got home from work, but instead of enjoying a quiet, romantic dinner for two, he’d breezed in from work, taken a quick shower, and jetted right back out the door with a lackluster, “See you later,” in his wake. 

Our marriage was falling apart, and he was too busy to notice…or even care. I squeezed the arms of the gray chair, imagining they were my husband’s arms squeezing me back. Did I even matter to him? What was so good out there that he didn’t want to be here with me? There was no worse feeling than feeling all alone in my marriage. I wiped a stray tear from my cheek, willing myself not to give in to despair. But as I wiped that tear, another escaped, then another. Before long, the arm of the chair was damp with sorrows words could not express. Have you ever felt so empty that no amount of encouragement could help? I lived in that place for years, unsuccessfully attempting to nurse a broken marriage and a broken heart. 

One day, not long after the gray chair incident, I happened upon an episode of Oprah’s show. She was right next to the Holy Spirit in my mind back then. It was during that episode, ironically, that I learned about the power of gratitude. Oprah talked about gratitude being a practice. It wasn’t an “attitude of gratitude,” she said, but an actual practice…something we should do regularly. Hmmph, I thought. If only Oprah knew my situation. My marriage was in shambles, and it took every bit of willpower in me to show up halfway each day. I spent more time stressed and depressed than even considering the practice of gratitude. Oprah didn’t quote any Scriptures during that show, but her words reminded me of a verse I’d memorized long ago. God can use anyone he chooses to get his message to us.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6, ESV (emphasis added). 

I sat on the edge of my bed that day and asked myself how different my life might be if I got serious about this practice of gratitude. Well, friend, not only did my words change, but so did my life. Here are three lessons I learned as I began to practice gratitude in one of the hardest seasons of my life. 

1. Gratitude doesn’t deny the pain. It changes how we carry it. 
My marriage was broken, and the pain of that truth was real. But as I began to shift my focus away from what hurt, I realized I could carry joy and pain at the same time. This revelation literally changed my life. My kids were all under 10 years old back then, and the squeals that came from their little mouths at the slightest surprise would make me laugh, even when I felt sad. 

Yes, my kids reminded me of what pure joy was. Even though they lived in the same house with a broken marriage, they were oblivious to it, not because it wasn’t real, but because it wasn’t relevant to them. They didn’t focus on what was wrong with Mommy and Daddy. Their focus was on the joys of their own lives. And that taught me something. My life was not wrapped up in my marriage. I had beautiful, healthy, and wonderful children. I had great friends. I had a home. I had a car outside. My needs were provided for. I had a great church. There was so much I had to be thankful for. This understanding shifted how I carried pain.

2. Gratitude protects us from bitterness.
I’m not gonna lie, I fought bitterness nearly every day when my marriage was on the struggle bus. I was disappointed in my husband. I felt let down by his shortcomings. I felt embarrassed at my inability to “make him happy.” It was easy to see him as the bad guy and me as the victim. The longer I meditated on his failings, the harder my heart grew toward him. 

However, as I began to thank God for my family, and yes, even my husband, I noticed my heart grew in tenderness toward him. I didn’t deny what his actions were doing to me, nor did I pretend that we were one little happy family. But I took my cares and my complaints to the Lord. Philippians 4:7 talks about the peace of God that guards our hearts as we pray with thanksgiving. I believe our hearts are guarded from pride, bitterness, apathy, fear- you name it- as we decide to be grateful even in the hard seasons. 

3. Gratitude reminds us that we are not alone.
It’s understandable to feel all alone when facing hard times. But you are not alone. Even if you don’t have any supportive humans around, God is near. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I discuss this encouraging shift in perspective in depth on this podcast episode. 

When you begin to thank God for all He is and all He’s already done, you are reminded of his nearness. I learned more about God during the hard seasons of my life than I ever did during the happy ones. No matter what life throws your way, you can choose to be grateful in every circumstance (I Thessalonians 5:18). This, my friend, is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. So, the next time anxiety knocks on your door, let gratitude be the one who answers.

What truth from today’s devotional is God using to encourage your heart? Share your reflection and join our conversation in the iBelieve Truth Devotional Forum.

Feel like digging a little deeper? Here is a wonderful resource to meet you right where you are. 5 Comforting Psalms for When We Worry: A Guided Reflection Journal

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Christian Fregnan

Dana Che is a speaker, marriage coach, and the host of the Rebuilding US podcast, where she helps people uncomplicate relationships and build deeper connections. She also serves as a Teaching Pastor at a multi-site, multi-ethnic church in Virginia Beach, VA. Dana is known for her graceful candor, humor, and encouraging commitment to the truth. Dana holds a B.A. in communication from Regent University and is a seminary student at Fuller Theological Seminary. She has a fierce passion for fashion and loves all things beachy. She shares her life with Shaun, her childhood sweetheart and husband of twenty-seven years, and their four amazing children in beautiful Virginia Beach, VA. Connect with her on social media @mrsdanache and find helpful relationship resources on her website danache.com.

Related Resource: The Blind Spots Hurting Your Relationships

In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others. 

Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection. 

If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!